Are you tired of awkward silences and rejected advances?
This guide compiles the 100 worst pickup lines ever conceived, ensuring you’ll never again suffer the embarrassment of a failed romantic attempt.
We’ve categorized them to help you avoid these conversational landmines, whether you’re aiming for a laugh (at their expense, of course), or simply trying to avoid a dating disaster.
Learn from these cringe-worthy examples and discover what not to say to improve your chances of a successful interaction.
Worst Pickup Lines Reddit Inspired
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you. Response: I’m more of a speeding ticket; I’m hard to catch!
- Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for. Response: That’s cute, but I’m not a search engine.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Response: Definitely not love at first sight.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Response: I’m more of a potato; I keep it real.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Response: No, but it hurt when I landed on Earth.
- Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears! Response: I’m more of a realist; I see things as they are.
- Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes. Response: I don’t have a map, but you can follow me!
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see! Response: I’m from somewhere else; try another line.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together. Response: That’s sweet; let’s be friends.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9… and I’m the 1 you need. Response: I’m a 10, and I don’t need anyone.
- I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number isn’t in it. Response: I need a new phone; it’s broken.
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. Response: My alphabet is perfect as is.
- You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day. Response: That’s flattering; but not true.
- Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life. Response: I am not a dictionary; I’m real.
- Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte. Response: I work somewhere else, and I prefer black coffee.
- Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes. Response: My dad’s honest; he’s a teacher.
- Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to my prayers. Response: I respect religions; but I don’t believe.
- You’re so beautiful, you made me forget my pickup line. Response: That’s not a pickup line.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection. Response: My name’s not Wi-Fi, but I feel a connection too.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! Response: I don’t even like potatoes.
Best Picks:
Avoid these entirely. They are universally considered cheesy and ineffective.
Worst Pickup Lines from a Girl
- Your eyes are like the ocean; I could get lost in them. Response: I appreciate that; but I prefer lakes.
- I’m not a mathematician, but I’m good with numbers. Response: Really? Show me!
- You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop. Response: What kind of laptop do you have?
- Are you single? I’ve got a boyfriend, but… Response: I’m not sure what you mean.
- You must be exhausted, because you’ve been running through my mind all day. Response: I think you are running through my mind too
- Do you like waffles? Because I find you pretty waffle-some. Response: I think this is weird.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you. Response: I’d rather be a speeding ticket.
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for. Response: I’m not a search engine.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together. Response: That’s cute, but let’s not.
- Are you a cat? Because I love to cuddle you. Response: I’m not a cat, and I’m not a fan of cuddling.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Response: I don’t believe in love at first sight.
- I’m not a scientist but I’m feeling a chemistry. Response: Really? I don’t feel it.
- If you were a song, you’d be my favourite. Response: I am not a song.
- What’s your favorite animal? Because I’m looking for a cuddle buddy. Response: I prefer to cuddle my pet.
- I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number isn’t in it. Response: Check again or get a new one.
- Do you like pizza? Because I can’t stop thinking about you. Response: I love pizza!
- If you were a drink, you’d be my favorite kind of wine. Response: Wine is not my favorite drink.
- Are you an alien? Because you’re out of this world. Response: I am not an alien.
- I’m terrible at making friends, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Response: What would you say?
- I’m not usually this forward, but I’m desperate for a date. Response: I prefer honesty.
Best Picks:
None; these are all risky and likely to backfire.
Worst Pickup Lines You’ve Ever Heard
- Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? Response: Wrong, and no kiss.
- Are you a magnet? Because I’m drawn to you. Response: I’m not a magnet either.
- I’m feeling a bit off today. Can I borrow your mood ring? Response: I don’t have a mood ring.
- Is your name Earl? Because I’m really Earl-y impressed. Response: That’s a terrible pun.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Response: Try again; I’m not convinced.
- Are you from McDonald’s? Because I’m lovin’ it. Response: That’s such a cliché.
- Did the sun come out, or did you just smile? Response: The sun is already out; your smile’s nice.
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. Response: I am not a fruit.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you. Response: I’d rather be a speeding ticket.
- Do you have a name, or can I call you mine? Response: I have a name, thank you.
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for. Response: I’m not a search engine.
- Are you a microwave? Because you just heated up my day! Response: I’m not a microwave.
- What’s your sign? Mine is “looking for someone awesome like you”. Response: I don’t believe in zodiac signs.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Response: I’d rather be a carrot.
- You must be a magician, because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. Response: I’m not a magician.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Response: I don’t believe in love at first sight.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see! Response: That’s a cheesy line.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together. Response: That’s not a real pickup line.
- I’d say God bless you, but it looks like he already did. Response: I am blessed, thank you.
- My doctor told me I was lacking Vitamin U. Response: I don’t need any vitamins.
Best Picks:
Again, none of these are good choices.
Dark Pickup Lines
- I’m not sure what’s tighter, your jeans or our future together. Response: You’re being creepy.
- Is your name Death? Because you’re looking deadly. Response: That’s a really creepy pickup line
- I’m not a stalker, but I’ve been watching you for a while now. Response: That’s an admission of stalking!
- I’m going to hell, and I’m bringing you with me. Response: I’m not going to hell with you.
- If I died tonight, I’d die happy knowing I met you. Response: That’s overly dramatic.
- I’m not sure what’s tighter, your jeans or our future together. Response: I don’t know about a future.
- Are you a serial killer? Because you’re killing me. Response: That’s incredibly inappropriate.
- I’m bad, but you’re worse. Response: I’d rather be good.
- I have a dark side; wanna explore it? Response: I’m not exploring your dark side.
- You’re so hot, you could start a forest fire. Response: Not a fan of forest fires.
- I’m already planning our funerals, so… Response: That’s morbid!
- You’re going to need a bigger coffin to fit my love for you. Response: I’m not going into a coffin.
- You’re so hot, you make me want to commit arson. Response: That’s not a compliment.
- I wouldn’t mind being your accomplice in a crime. Response: I’m not involved in crimes.
- You’re my worst nightmare, but in the best possible way. Response: I’m not interested in your nightmares.
- Let’s get lost in each other’s darkness. Response: I prefer the light.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I stab you? Response: That’s aggressive!
- Are you a ghost? Because you’re haunting my dreams. Response: I’m not a ghost.
- I’d sell my soul for you. Response: I’m not worth selling your soul for.
- Wanna play Russian roulette with my heart? Response: I’m not into games with my heart.
Best Picks:
Absolutely none. These are inappropriate and potentially offensive.
Worst Pickup Lines for a Crush
- I like your shoes. Want to dance? Response: I like your shirt, so maybe.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Response: Walk by again.
- You’re pretty, and you’re pretty good at whatever it is you do. Response: What do you think I am good at?
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you. Response: Very cheesy.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Response: I’m more of a tomato.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together. Response: Sure. Maybe.
- Do you like waffles? Because I find you pretty waffle-some. Response: I hate waffles.
- What’s your sign? Response: That depends.
- You’re like a fine wine… I’d like to drink you all night long. Response: Wine is not my thing.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Response: No. It didn’t.
- Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to my prayers. Response: I’m spiritual, not religious.
- I think I’m allergic to something… Because every time I’m around you I get all itchy. Response: I’ll get you some allergy medicine.
- I can’t wait for you to meet my parents. Response: That’s quite a leap.
- Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. Response: I’m not a magician.
- Are you a cat? Because I love to cuddle you. Response: I’m not a cat.
- Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. Response: I don’t have a map.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see. Response: I’m not from Tennessee.
- I’m not usually this forward, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Response: Try again.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection. Response: Maybe.
- Do you want to go for a walk? It’s cute. Response: I need a moment.
Best Picks:
Avoid all of these—they’re cliché and unlikely to impress a crush.
Conclusion
This comprehensive list highlights the pitfalls of poorly chosen pickup lines. Remember, genuine connection is built on respect, shared interests, and engaging conversation—not cheesy one-liners. Focus on getting to know someone, rather than resorting to tired and ineffective attempts at humor or flirtation. Authenticity and genuine interest will always trump a bad pickup line.
